Hot tears stream down her face.
Her once ‘shiny eyes’ (as she calls them) are now pink and cloaked with a shroud of despair.
“Why won’t the pain just go away?” She pleads as she grips her abdomen and closes her eyes once again.
We have been in the hospital for almost a week now and the medications have yet to intervene in her plea. The doctors continue to work hard to find answers but no new answers can be found. All we can do is wait. Pray. And hope that the medicine will soon do what it was created to do.
Days away from her 7th birthday, she musters up just enough strength to sweetly smile at the approaching nurse. She is confident now that a nurse’s job is simply to bug all the patients. (She’s probably right.) But instead of getting crabby, she answers each of the invasive questions thoroughly and sweetly. Simultaneously, she is enduring being poked and prodded with more poise than Princess Diana ever could have mustered.
And then it happened…
Her vein popped and the IV line was blown.
A new line would have to be run immediately in order for her medication to continue. The rose petal veins of this precious angel were popping multiple times each day. She was at her end and she didn’t know what to do.
So she did what any other female would do – she curled up in a ball and started to cry. Mommy cried too.
Each salty droplet a petition, a scream, a travail that said, “Why? Where are you sweet wisdom? O’ God of Heaven, hide not your face in this dark hour.”
Feeling a bit mellow dramatic and reminiscent of Job, I stopped and remembered his very similar plea.
“Where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell?” ~~ “God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells” (Job 28:12 & 23 NIV)
With that simple memory, I began to rest. The type of rest that comes in the simple reassurance of the Father’s voice and a heart pressed in to that special place of faith.
Then it came….wisdom always comes when He is the one leading.
This time wisdom arrived in the form of a Bible story. One that I have taught on several occasions and most definitely one of my favorites. It is the story of Jehoshaphat accounted in 2 Chronicles 20.
In short, King Jehoshaphat and the people of Judah were under attack. They did not know what to do, so the King resolved to seek The Lord. Thankfully The Lord heard his cry and spoke to the people through His appointed prophet.
“He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. (2 Chronicles 20:15 NIV)
I love that! What a reassuring promise. A promise that was written thousands of years ago specifically for us. The reminder that we need no longer walk in fear because the Lord desires to battle on our behalf. A promise of victory for you, for me and for my daughter, to embrace and declare.
My Colette, my princess, whose name means ‘Victorious in Battle,’ already had victory spread before her like the splendor of a king’s table. Thankfully wisdom came that night and reminded me of my daughter’s declared destiny. It was determined before the foundations of the earth. (Jeremiah 1:5)
But it was now my job, as her mommy, to teach her how to walk in that destiny and to instruct her in how to stand in her place of victory.
I slowly picked her limp body from the hospital bed enveloping her: safely hiding her in my arms. That moment was important. She needed to know that in an instant I cared more about her heart than any hospital protocol or medical procedure. Displaying a gesture of protection, I kindly asked everyone in the hospital room to vacate until further notice. An atmosphere of safety and victory needed to be set in order for Colette to begin to fight for her health once more.
It became a precious time, draped in the love and comfort of Holy Spirit. We cried together as we swayed in a locked embrace. I sang quietly in her ear and whispered sweet words of love to her heart. Her cocoon of despair was slowly beginning to unravel and a victorious warrior was emerging. It was a stunning sight to behold.
When the time was right I began to tell her about her name, her destiny and her God. We talked about Jehoshaphat and the people of Judah.
Then I told her how the story ended…
“As they (Judah) began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they (the enemy) were defeated.” (2 Chronicles 20:22 NIV)
When it comes to being ‘Victorious in Battle’ it has much less to do with us but it has EVERYTHING to do with our God. Often we need only take the position of worship and hold our ground. The Lord will take care of the rest – valiantly He defeats the foe on our behalf. Praise God!
Take King David for instance, the man was always complaining about his enemies. The book of Psalms is full of his frustration with the persecution and attack that followed him. BUT read farther: almost always his tune changes. He complains, laments and cries for help “until” he enters God’s presence. In the presence of God brings rest, joy and victory for the heart.
Psalm 5: 1-10 in paraphrase David screams, “Help!!”
Psalm 5: 11-12 David’s heart changes. He comes to God and quickly he finds himself saying,
“BUT let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
That those who love your name may rejoice in you.
For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous;
You surround them with your favor as with a shield.”
My daughter gained wisdom beyond her years that night. She grew in her knowledge and understanding of the Lord as she heard the victories of old and began to worship for herself. Life would never be the same as her tear-drenched eyes, wide with wonder and hope, met those of the living God.
Her heart sang true to the word of God and she knew that her battle belonged to the Lord.
The time had come and the nurses entered. With syringes and IV lines concealed in their hands they quietly inched their way towards her hospital bed. Quiet tears streamed down her face as she turned towards me in pain. The strangers shockingly grabbed her feet this time and began the arduous process of trying to find a vein that would hold an IV line for the medicine and fluids.
She screamed in shock at first.
Then she screamed with authority.
Everyone in the room paused.
“Stop.” She said again.
“I need my music!”
“I have to worship.”
Instantly I grabbed my iPhone and pressed play on her favorite worship playlist.
Her head turned towards me and we locked eyes. I stroked her cheek gently and she started to sing. In a declaration of war she stepped out in faith and believed that God would bring victory to her precious veins.
At one point the words proved too much to press passed her fear – I sang them for her.
And then it happened…
The female nurse sang.
The male nurse sang.
The doctor sang.
“How Great is Our God.
Sing with me, How Great is our God
And all will see, How Great…How Great is our God”
The moment changed us all. The IV hit the perfect vein with very little pain. The nurses lingered in her room just – “because they couldn’t quite leave.” The hospital staff heard for days about this “special little girl with a special little faith”.
And at the end of the hospital stay.
At the end of 15 IV tubes and 14 popped veins.
Colette walked away saying, “Worship won my battle. The IV in my foot was the miracle that stayed.”
“If you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden
then you will understand the fear of
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom,
And from his mouth come knowledge
He holds victory in store for the upright,
He is a shield to those whose walk is
For he guards the course of the just
And protects the way of his