My friend Brian Stivale told me that every time things in his life start falling apart, he hears the voice of Edward G. Robinson from the movie The 10 Commandments asking him “Where is your God now, Moses?”
This has been one of those weeks for me and my family. Everything seems to be falling apart and it got me to pause and ask the question… God, where are you now? I was surprised when He answered and showed me.
He is right there next to the hospital bed holding Colette’s hand so that she can fall asleep when the pain is too much.
He is in the voice of the multitude of calls and messages of support from friends and family.
He is in His Body, the Church, who has been praying continuously for us on many countries throughout the world when we lacked the strength to pray anymore.
He is in the beauty of every flower and painting given to us in the hospital to remind us of beauty that someday awaits us.
He is in me giving me peace that defies explanation… I would feel guilty for not being more worried but it seems like He took that weapon away from me to keep me from hurting myself.
He is in the love that so many have shown us… from feeding us to offering to grade my students’ papers for me.
He is in the smile of my daughter when the pain subsides for brief moments.
He is in my beloved bride loving my daughter back to health and giving her grace to fight the everyday battle that is her life right now.
He is in my boys filling their heart buckets while their mommy is away.
He is in the student nurses and doctors who are working extra hard for Colette and can’t manage to leave her room when they finish their work… but they don’t know why.
He is in our best friends lifting up our hands so that the battle can be won.
He is in me. Changing me. Strengthening me. Encouraging me… because it takes courage to trust Him sometimes.
So, where is my God now? He is everywhere. He promised to never leave me nor forsake me… and He hasn’t. He is more real and present now than in any other time of my life. He has taken me by the right hand and leads me through the darkness.
It got me to thinking… “What if God always prevented every bad thing from happening?” I am quite certain that no one would ever see Him… they wouldn’t be looking. A time is coming when He will wipe away every tear and all will be as it was meant to be. I’m beginning to understand why He says that in that day we will see Him face to face, otherwise we might not even realize He was there.
The draw of heaven isn’t the absence of hell, it is the presence of God.